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Clarification of position - Musings and Memoires of the Minstrel

Jul. 26th, 2005 07:04 pm Clarification of position

With regard to the recent advertisement for a meaningless short-term fling, it has come to my attention that some clarification on the post may be required.

The successful applicant will have:
A bottom (sorry, Ariel the Little Mermaid, try Stremmy)
A residence in/near Cork or suitable transport
A sense of humour comparable to my own (you see Kieran - you're well in here)
A love of making tea and toast
A non-crappy taste in music
A lack of being a bitch

Included in the application must be:
A recent photo of you (tastefulness optional)
A letter of recommendation from your last employer/fling
An appropriate justification for the ending of your last employment/fling
A mystery present for me (this will not be returnable)

In addition, it may be noted that very close - no, no, very close - relationships with female friends is not a necessity but will be of great benefit.

This does not affect your statutory rights
Always read the label
If rash develops, consult a doctor
Batteries not included

Current Music: Generic radio ad music

13 comments - Leave a commentPrevious Entry Share Next Entry

Comments:

From:jinii_chan
Date:July 26th, 2005 11:55 pm (UTC)
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*falls on the floor laughing*

Oh, Neil! How I miss you (and the rest of you crazy Irishpeeps)! T__________________T
From:plasseyminstrel
Date:July 27th, 2005 04:41 pm (UTC)
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Haha thanks Ginny. I shall consider this your application.

Miss you too!
From:lord_flash
Date:July 27th, 2005 09:21 am (UTC)
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The successful applicant will have:
A bottom (sorry, Ariel the Little Mermaid, try Stremmy)
check
A residence in/near Cork or suitable transport
check- i have a selection of lurve nests to choose from
A sense of humour comparable to my own (you see Kieran - you're well in here)
check
A love of making tea and toast
especially the former, check
A non-crappy taste in music
check
A lack of being a bitch
mmm...check

Included in the application must be:
A recent photo of you (tastefulness optional)
A letter of recommendation from your last employer/fling
An appropriate justification for the ending of your last employment/fling
A mystery present for me (this will not be returnable)

In addition, it may be noted that very close - no, no, very close - relationships with female friends is not a necessity but will be of great benefit.
check


now...can i have a go?
From:plasseyminstrel
Date:July 27th, 2005 04:43 pm (UTC)
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You pass all the prerequisites so yes.

Don't forget the 4 inclusions listed, they'll have to be in the application envelope / parcel / cargo container.

I wish you the best.


Plassey Minstrel Inc is an equal opportunities fling and does not discriminate on the basis of race, colour, sex, sexual orientation or any of that malarkey. It does, however, disriminate on the grounds of having a bottom or otherwise.
From:lord_flash
Date:July 27th, 2005 10:11 pm (UTC)
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Can I be the mystery present? Obviously I wouldnt tell you beforehand, but...
From:plasseyminstrel
Date:July 28th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)
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Yes I think that would be allowed, as long as you don't tell me. It has to be a mystery. Thankfully I have no idea what I'm talking about so you're safe enough.
From:pinkrainboots84
Date:July 27th, 2005 07:52 pm (UTC)
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Well, why didn't I think of something like this?? Looks like the applications are just pouring in. :)
*amanda
From:lord_flash
Date:July 27th, 2005 10:12 pm (UTC)
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can i have an application form? please...:-)
From:plasseyminstrel
Date:July 28th, 2005 04:56 pm (UTC)
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I haven't decided on the format of the application form yet but I'll let you know if and when one is designed. Thankfully my work involves dealing with the documentation system so I'm used to making official documents.

However applicants are invited to choose their method of application if not filling out the application form . These methods of application can include, but not are not limited to, letters, hugging, "hugging", and further mystery presents.
From:pinkrainboots84
Date:July 28th, 2005 07:34 pm (UTC)
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These "applications" have to clearly state that the author wishes to apply, right? Like...I'm not automatically an applicant just for writing you, right?

And I don't think I'll be choosing to follow in Neil's path...I'll stick to my (unsuccessful) method. ;)
From:plasseyminstrel
Date:July 29th, 2005 07:08 am (UTC)
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The judge's decision is final. So ask Linz I suppose. You can still write me without fear of application. Which reminds me I owe you a letter, I've been meaning to do it for ages! And I just bought a book of stamps yesterday.
From:lord_flash
Date:August 31st, 2005 01:51 am (UTC)
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so...do we have a winner?
From:plasseyminstrel
Date:December 2nd, 2005 03:17 pm (UTC)
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Tis a bit late to be replying to this but there were numerous winners in the last few months :-)